Unemployment has given me space to breathe

Updates from two months on the road

I have now been living in my van pottering around Europe for two months. I’ve driven through a lot of mountains in Belgium, France, Italy, Switzerland and am currently in Slovenia on my way to Hungary.

I’ve been a bit shoddy on writing my substack posts but in all honesty I have felt like I needed to give this new life time to marinate. I’ve had lots of thoughts swirling around my brain but it all felt too new to really write down and hit publish on.

Now that I’ve hit the two month mark I’ve realised that I’ve really settled into this new way of living. In fact, I’m really surprised by just how quickly the new has become the normal.

Every morning I wake up (often prompted but the sun through the skylight), pop my coffee on to brew and head straight outside to get some sunlight on my face and fresh air in my lungs. I take the dogs for a stroll, drink my coffee and then discuss with Nicholas (my other half and travel companion) where we are going to drive too next. If we are by a lake or a river then I will take a swim or a cold plunge, get dressed, shut all the windows and off we head onto the next place.

If we have any chores to do then we do these on the way to the next place i.e emptying the toilet, going to the supermarket, finding more water or getting fuel.

We never drive for more than three hours a day but usually we do a lot less than this, preferring more time to relax over time spent driving. The afternoons are spent hiking, eating, reading, writing and painting.

It is as idyllic as it sounds.

I have found a new love for the outdoors - I was never what you would describe as “outdoorsy” always preferring a cosy nook and a good book to a romp through the wilderness however I desperately wanted to be more active when we moved into the van after a year working for the ambulance service where I spent 12 hours a day sat at my desk and a further 2 hours a day commuting. It was all rather too much time being sedentary and my body was crying out for some movement and caretaking.

So, with that in mind I challenged myself to walk everyday. I had the rather common goal of walking 10,000 steps a day (although we know now thanks to science that 10k steps is a marketing ploy rather than a magic number for health) but it was a doable amount for me.

Two months in and I’ve found my groove. I walk on average 10,000 to 12,000 steps on my stomps through nature. On days where I have low energy or need a rest I stop at 6,000 and I try to once a week walk 20,000 to 25,000 and really push myself.

The numbers themselves are arbitrary and are just what works for me - enough for me to feel the benefits of a calmer mind, stronger thighs and a bit less breathlessness when jogging down the road when the dogs try to do a runner from the van.

The real joy in these daily walks have been feasting on everything nature has to offer. The beauty of changing locations every day means that every day I get a brand new landscape to explore and always makes me keen to through on my boots and get stomping to see what I can see.

I’m reminded of childhood on my walks because my curiosity comes alive. I don’t tend to research a specific route in advance or make strict plans. I check the weather and choose a direction. If I see a trail head I follow it, if I don’t then I’ll just go with my gut. I must say “wow” at least 50 times a day because much like when I was a small child I am filled with wonder at all the cool things nature has to show us.

An unusual looking plant, a cool fungi hiding in the damp undergrowth, a beetle scuttling under foot, a breathtaking view with birds of all descriptions soaring past, trees that make me feel incredibly small and in awe of their sheer size… there is always something, not always something gasp worthy, often I’m as excited to see a ladybird or a daisy as I am the Dolomites in all their glory.

… It just feels so damn good to be pulled out my anxious mind and into my body and my senses.

That’s the beauty of this new way of living for me. I am able to find a few hours in the day where I’m not worried, i’m too busy being curious and exploring. As someone who’s had the heavy weight of worry on my shoulders and the feeling of dread deep in the pit of my stomach since I could first form coherent thoughts this is no small thing.

The other wonderful side effect of deciding to live a life inside a moving vehicle has been the creativity. It wasn’t immediate but slowly creativity has seeped back into my life. I feel a desire to create, to imagine new ideas - I’ve even considered new business ideas which hasn’t happened for about four years, I’ve felt too overwhelmed to try again at anything new. Now it seems like a possibility for future me.

My paints are regularly pulled out to play with and my hands are always covered a mixture of acrylics and dirt.

I’m still not sure where this adventure will lead but I’m really enjoying the journey so far.

Speak soon,

Saph xxx